Chapter Three: Strength and Dignity on Parade

So this is probably one of my favorite chapters so I might skip around a bit… I think I refer back to this chapter the most just because it highlights qualities that I strive to acquire.

CS begins by pointing out how incredibly humble Esther is and how removed she is from society’s view of how a woman should act.  I love on page 43 how he describes Esther: “Isn’t it refreshing to find a little demureness in a beautiful woman? Isn’t it delightful to observe true beauty, which carries with it a modesty and a disinclination to compete for honors physically? I see that in Esther, and I’m impressed by it.”

I’m greatly impressed by it too. How true it is that in today’s society we are constantly striving to fit a typical mold! To be like the models in the magazine in which most often times the images are distorted and touched up to make these ordinary women seem perfect. I love how CS talks about Esther’s humility and modesty. I think what really makes a woman stunning and beautiful is how she portrays herself mainly through her actions. Personally I strive to be graceful (which is often hard considering I am accident prone in every facet), but also, to be graceful you must leave some to the imagination.

I strive to be like Esther. CS’s six characteristic of strength and dignity is something we all should write down, keep in our wallet and post on our mirror so that we think of these things daily.

1.       Modeling Grace. Esther didn’t just model grace before the king, but modeled grace even before those who are often overlooked. Think daily, how do you treat the waitress that brought you your coffee and bagel today? What about the janitor that cleans up after you leave work and takes out the trash? I currently am working at a clothing store, and I greatly appreciate when customers genuinely ask how my day is, or communicate with me in other ways then just looking at me as a drone. I take note of it.

2.       Unusual Restraint and Control. Ladies, let’s be mysterious! When I did this study previously, the woman leading it told us to “Never miss an opportunity to keep our mouths shut.” How true is this statement? I feel women most often times get a bad rep because of our ridiculous ability to gab and recall details… many that aren’t our details to share. “There is an air of mystery about a woman, an unpredictability that men find intriguing” (CS 46)…. Hmmmm, something to think about…

3.       Sustain a continually teachable spirit. I love this little insight of wisdom CS shares: “Education is going from an unconscious to conscious awareness of one’s ignorance.” We will never reach the wisest of the wise. If we open each day allowing God to show us new things and to learn new concepts, how great our hearts and minds would open up, don’t you agree?!

4.       Exhibit an unselfish modesty and authenticity. I think this is a tough one. I just think about how long it takes for me to get ready each day… and sometimes it’s so silly how much time I spend contemplating on what I’m going to wear and how I try to model after others?! What are your thoughts on this one??

5.       MY FAVORITE: Model winsomeness. Aren’t we drawn to people who are winsome? When I think of someone who is winsome, I think of how I viewed my mom when I was little. All little girls want to play dress up and be like mom. Yes we go through those stages where nothing mom does is cool, and nothing she suggests is right. But think about when you were little. Wasn’t mom just the best person IN THE WORLD? And why was that? Because moms made everything better. It’s not just a woman’s physical attributes that make her alluring, but rather her “charming and gracious spirit” (CS 50).  Esther was winsome.

6.       A humble respect for authority. Thoughts on this one???

CS points out that acquiring these characteristics seems daunting and unattainable. But I love his response in telling us that we are wrong in thinking so. In becoming like Esther we must be dead to this world.

1 John 2:15 : "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

I admit, this is difficult. How much easier it is to live according to society. How much easier is acceptance if we live up to the world’s expectations? We are simply weird or odd if we do anything else that is not mainstream or popular, right? But what does the world have, what does society have without God? There is no joy.  There is no fulfillment. CS says to ask God “to give you discontent for the superficial and a deeper desire for the spiritual. Make yourself available to His strength, His reproofs. Seek His counsel for the things you lack” (CS 51).

“His light in our life gives us a growing disgust for things that merely satisfy the flesh… It is His working in our lives that uses us even in the harems of life to make a difference and to model a charm and a beauty, a dignity and an elegance that cannot help but cause people’s attention to be drawn to Him and His power” (CS 52).

Here again, I can’t help but think of the prayer my friend prayed over me. She asked for people to be able to see Jesus in me. Through us and by modeling these qualities we are drawing people to Him. How great is that?! How marvelous it is for others to be attracted to Christ through us?! This alone helps me get through the seemingly mundane times.

CS closes chapter three by quoting the Proverbs 31 wife (one of the founding verses of our blog!!). If you ever feel insignificant or powerless as a woman, read Proverbs 31 and the unique gifts that God gives women. You are significant. You do matter. You do have a place in this world. God made you for this exact moment and time, the one thread that is you in His marvelous tapestry. Take comfort in knowing that He is sovereign.

always, 

loveandprayers